The Sensual Miracle of JC Penney

In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.
As does your search for chest hair.

And this — Seriously. No words.

Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. F* . I’m guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I’m guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don’t they?

I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled “Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best.”

Then, after the lovin’, you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:

I could go on, but I’m tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it’s the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers: